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I had intended to write about something else entirely today, but it will have to wait as I just got an email from Captain Paul Watson of Sea Shepherd talking of the hypocrisy of the Australian government, and I felt it was too important not to pass on.

In The Politics of Pretending to Save the Whales, Paul writes:

The Labor government of Kevin Rudd came into power a year ago on the crest of numerous promises to the people of Australia. One of those promises was to get tough with the illegal activities of the Japanese whaling fleet.

As someone who has spent a lifetime defending whales, I have to say that the performance of the Australian government in regard to the defense of the whales has been dismal and impotent. There has been plenty of posturing and posing, meetings and diplomatic ping pong but the plain simple truth is that the government has done nothing at all. MORE

The Japanese intend to kill endangered whales in an established whale sanctuary in violation of a global moratorium on commercial whaling and in direct contempt of an Australian Federal Court ruling specifically barring Japanese whalers from killing whales in the Australian Antarctic Territory. Yet the Australian government is actively working to bar Sea Shepherd from Australia; making it impossible for them to birth their ship without outrageous costs, detaining Paul at the airport for questioning for an hour and a half, refusing to allow the delivery of Kevlar vests for the crew - it was a Kevlar vest which saved Paul's life last year when he was fired at from a Japanese whaler.

Anyone who objects to the hypocrites [especially if you are Australian, but everyone else as well] should write to the Australian environment minister Peter Garrett here and tell him what you think of his cowardly acquiescence to Japanese financial pressures and his victimisation of Sea Shepherd, the only people opposing Japanese whaling. Those wishing to leave a message for the Japanese government can do so here

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The current surge in piracy off the coast of Africa is surely partly the fault of Johnny Depp making pirates appear sexy. With his pursed feminine mouth and saucy good looks, Depp has changed the image of the pirate from a bloodthirsty, murderous rogue, often with a leg [Long John Silver] or arm [Captain Hook] missing, in other words, a bad guy, into a cheeky scamp and a good guy, making it a more attractive career choice for anyone, including Samalians looking for a way to make a living, with their country a failed state without a government. Having apparently got away with capturing a cargo vessel, The Faina, packed with guns and ammunition a few weeks ago [and still not released], they went on to take an oil tanker, the Sirius Star in the Gulf of Aden, the 9th ship captured in 12 days, and have demanded $25M. They even thought they'd grab an Indian Navy warship wanting to search them, but warships tend to have guns unlike cargo vessels, and they were blown out of the water and sunk.

Last week, Indian navy commandos operating from a warship foiled another pirate attempt to hijack an Indian cargo ship in the Gulf of Aden. The navy said an armed helicopter with marine commandos prevented the pirates from boarding and hijacking the Indian merchant vessel. So the Indians seem to have the right idea. Perhaps they could give some tips to the USA whose warships are also in the area, but who have failed to engage any pirates since arriving there - the world's only 'superpower' with a massive navy can't sort out some drug-crazed Somali thugs in search of easy money. I say call in Steven Segal and Bruce Willis, that's bound to scare the shit out of them.

All in all, Hollywood's got a lot to answer for.

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As every year for the whole of my life, Royal British Legion poppies have been sold everywhere, outside shops, in the streets, at every place where people walk. They are said to be to commemorate those who were killed in WW1, and the few remaining old chaps, mostly now in wheelchairs, are wheeled out, replete with chestfulls of medals, to take part in the grand war celebration at the Cenotaph in London. I have never bought or worn a poppy.

The poppies are made by disabled military personnel, not, however from WW1, or even WW2, but from more recent wars. And far from being the war to end all wars, WW1 is just an excuse for the militaristic caste to celebrate and wallow in sentimentality over all the old soldiers 'who gave their lives for us' and all the rest of the hypocritical, self-serving rubbish. It's an opportunity for all those who are excited by war and killing, to don uniforms and parade about with brass bands and flags, medals jangling. There is no determination to end wars, despite the mealy-mouthed words uttered on these occasions, quite the opposite; the two ongoing wars the UK is involved in are equally celebrated. But to criticise or question the morality of this is, apparently, to disregard the 'sacrifice' the old soldiers made back before we were born. Yet WW1 is agreed to have been the most pointless and brutal waste of life, a whole generation of young men slaughtered for no good reason other than they got excited and volunteered in large numbers for 'the adventure', only to be mown down by machine guns like a crop to be harvested.

Currently, one of the wars we are embroiled in, Afghanistan, involves British soldiers destroying poppies, a nice irony as paper immitation poppies sprout on every lapel in the media and everywhere else in public life. Weasel words are spoken in sonorous, serious voices, the old tired cliches trotted out like a litany, and then the old chaps are wheeled away, to appear next year, smaller still in number, their trembly lips unable to say anything much other than 'terrible waste of life', and then the flags are packed away again and normal life resumes.

Disabled soldiers making poppies merely absolves government from properly caring for them. It places the wounded from more recent conflicts in the same situation as the soldiers who defended this country against Germany in two European wars, however avoidable those two conflicts were, and ignores the fact the the invasion of Iraq was widely opposed. Having tried to subjugate the Afghans in the nineteenth century, and failed, you'd think the British state would know better than to become embroiled once again in that country. Comes from having a 'special relationship' with the USA. Not a relationship which benefits us, but one which provides willing assistance when America decides it wants some killing done. The British warrior class will doubtless continue celebrating war and morally blackmailing others to support them and wear a poppy; they claim that the British public holds great affection and respect for its Armed Forces. But it's their scene, aberrant as it is, and no need for those who oppose war as a method of solving differences to take part in the national exercise in hypocrisy.

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I just bought a camera. It's my first DSLR, something I've been lusting after for years, and I seem to have struck incredibly lucky.

This is it below, sexy or what?

I knew nothing of Olympus other than they made cameras, they never figured in my wish list which started with Canon and ended with Sony. But I had had a look on Ebay, and marked five DSLRs as possibles, one was an Olympus, an unknown quantity. The first two went over my limit of £200, both Canons, and then there was this one. I liked the look of it, and, having lost out on two, I decided to have a try for it. Being canny with ebay I didn't bid, but put it on my watch list and bided my time. A day passed and the top bid hadn't changed - £120 - the hours went by and the end of auction approached. I held back, waiting to see if any of the six existing bidders would come in with another bid. It jumped to £140, the minutes went by, and with a minute to go I bid; I was immediately outbid by ebay bidding up for the existing bidder, I bid again, I was pipped again, I slapped in my last bid of £190 just a second before the auction ended, and it was mine! Sounds of trumpets and clapping, a roll on the drums, I take a bow; the classic way of winning an ebay auction; wait till the end and act fast and decisive, know your limit and stick to it.

Since then I've been finding out about this camera, a professional DSLR which seems to be highly rated by everyone who owns one, some people saying that it's their favourite despite having more expensive, later models. I found a price for a new one here and was astonished to see it selling, still, for £1,160! Another site had it for £1,030. Mine is second hand, but in superb condition with many years useful work left in it and the price was perfect.

I've joined an Olympus E-1 user forum. quite the friendliest forum I've ever joined, and already had loads of encouragement, advice and help. Everyone there loves their E-1, most appear to be professional photographers, and the standard of the work there is stunning. I have high hopes I can take some equally stunning shots, but I'm far too busy now to take it out and about, and must content myself with reading the manual and familiarising myself with it in readiness for the day I take it out for a spin.

Those who don't have the camera bug won't understand my feelings for this kit. But the feel of it in your hands, the lens with its matt black nobbly rubber outer grasped in the left hand, turning to focus and zoom in and out, is a joy only avid photographers could understand. Point and click cameras just don't cut it, useful as they are for quick, candid shots out of the pocket. There's just no control. Serious picture making demands a seriously chunky camera, and the E-1 is that camera. I'll post some shots here as and when I take them. Prepare to be amazed and enchanted!

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I woke at 4pm UK time and turned on the radio where the BBC announced 'Obama has definitely won Virginia, and the BBC is stating officially that he was won overall and will be the next US president.' Good timing or what? My subconscious was even on the case. Deep relief that the dirty tricksters had failed this time and a landslide was happening. I hope he lives up to expectations and that expectations aren't too high. He's just a man, not the messiah, although the descendants of slaves could be forgiven for thinking of him as such.

America's standing in the world has just taken an enormous leap with this one act, the hope is that it will no longer be the global bully, but will start to work to get on with people no matter that they have different cultures, religions or worldviews. We'll see how he shapes up in the following months, but on his utterances over the last few months, I think he'll do allright. He must be brave to even want to take on America in the grip of a worsening recession and embroiled in two unjust wars. Iraq is the easier one to extricate from; Afghanistan, as the Russians found out, can suck you in and wear you down, and Obama's plans to increase troop numbers is the least appealing utterance he's made. From the British in the 19th century, Afghanistan has been an impossible country to control.

Money doesn't talk, it swears

The Scottish Parliament, under the control of Alex Salmond, has bowed down to billionaire waster and trasher of the environment, Donald Trump, and given the go-ahead to destroy an SSSI [Site of Special Scientific Interest] in Scotland's coastal dunes to build a millionaires golf course, going against the planning committee which turned the application down. How anyone in this point in time and the world suffering environmental degradation on an unprecedented scale, could make such a retrograde move is staggering, I suppose individual greed and corruption are at the heart of it as usual. The obscenely rich walk the planet as if a different species with no stake in the future, their only concern making yet more money. What a wierd sicknes they suffer from. Perhaps Trump's toupé will strangle him one quiet night and spare us any more of this tasteless oik's grand plans.

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I can't not mention the US election as it's the last day and, but for the Republican's habit of lying and cheating, would be a done deal for a new president Obama, and the world heaving a sigh of relief.

A friend and collegue in the UK just yesterday morning got an email from some retard end of the GOP who clearly doesn't understand British citizens don't have the vote in Amurka. It's long, clearly took a long time to fabricate, and is full of the most appalling lies and distortions a fascist could come up with, and all couched in a pretend family email as if the writer knows you. It includes loads of links to youtube where their misinformation campaign seems to reside [I have yet to visit the links and verbally smash the retard's brains into the gutter where they belong], and all the usual lies about him being a Muslim [they don't consider the American Muslims feelings, but then they're probably all in hiding by now], stress his middle name Hussein as if it's an illegal name in America - if the dieing McCain were inexplicably to get in, it probably would be illegal along with freethinking and publishing books with big words in - and Obama's so-called 'links' to terrorists and his intention to treble taxes on 'ordinary Americans' and bring in a communist state forcing women to have abortions and breeding babies for consumption [those two being mutually exclusive shouldn't bother the lame brains that think Palin is sexy, no, that brain cell will remain untroubled by contradictions].

If it weren't for the fact that America can do such damage, the world would largely ignore the election, but the outcome is so vital to all of us, and especially to Iraqis and Afghans, and of course Iranians as well as Cubans, that it looks like it's dominating the attention of the world.

So panicked are the nazis of the Republican party, they will literally try anything to grab power again, including sending out an official looking letter informing voters that voting for Republicans is to happen Today, and for Democrats the day after polling is closed. But there's a flaw in this fiendish plan, it would only fool retards, and they already vote Republican. The Nazis [the German ones over half a century ago] didn't even stoop this low to grab power, but these bastards have so much to lose; a Democratic president and administration are likely to set up a few investigative committees to look into the crimes that have been going on under the Monkey-President, that's on top of the war crimes, and they have so much to lose from that. These are dangerous fascists and if they do manage to cheat yet another election, I for one would donate to a civil war fund to arm Democrats to take them on - I suspect most of the arms are in retard hands, dangerous indeed.

With the dieing McLone Ranger looking lumpier by the day with the cancer that's eating away at his face and brain and has spread according to accounts I've read, the idea that the severely challenged LipstickTonto could be the most powerful person on the planet is understandably giving the world bad dreams of armageddon outta here.

We'll know soon if the Diebold voting machines [owned by Republicans] have once again successfully been fixed [it looks like they have] so best to insist on paper votes, however arduous they are to fill in. All polls indicate, President Obama will have a landslide victory. I think he would be well advised not to go on a motorcade through Dallas, or anywhere else in anything but an armoured car. The real killers of the Kennedies and Martin Luther King were never convicted.

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Whenever I drive, which is as infrequently as possible, I'm struck by the fact that nine out of ten people don't know how to park their car. It's first order desire - there's a space, I want to park, drive into the space - without a thought to later when they leave. Perhaps parking isn't part of the driving test these days, so not part of driving tuition.

No matter how many times they park, it seems the majority of drivers just aren't capable of learning a simple thing; reversing into a space is a million times easier than reversing out of one. Whether the parking space is off a road or in a supermarket carpark, the majority just drive straight in and off to shop. But reversing out of a narrow space with cars either side means you can't begin to turn the wheel until clear, so it's straight out and then a five point [or more] turn to get the car positioned to drive away. If the parking space is beside a road, it's that much more difficult as you're backing out blind into oncoming traffic, and unless you have someone to see you out, this can be dangerous.

To reverse into a parking space is easy; drive past, turn the wheel, reverse into space, being sure to check mirrors as you go. The front moves round sideways and the back leads into the space. Driving off is easy, you get in and drive straight out and away! As the front turns the back keeps coming straight and no cars are scraped or mirrors knocked. I'm still left wondering why most drivers fail to see this.

Halloween waste

Our NO Trick or Treat notice in the window worked last night, not a single knock on the door. Call me a killjoy if you like, but door to door begging shouldn't be encouraged, no matter how elaborately the kids are dressed up, and how much money the parents blew on costumes. I know it's a big thing in the US, but it bears no resemblance to the actual ancient traditions it's been copied from, relying instead on consumerism supplying ready-made all the gear, which seems mostly to be related to movies, and yet another marketing opportunity to relieve the saps of their hard-earned cash. Shop assistants dress up too, presumably because serving in a shop is such a total bore that anything to relieve the tedium is welcome.

The worst thing about it is that all the pumpkins that are carved out [it was once a potato in Ireland, with a candle inside] are wasted as a food source and the contents trashed, or at best put on the compost. Don't people know how to cook pumpkin any more? Being a member of the squash family, it can be made into delicious, nutritious soup, pumpkin pie, or sliced in fat chunks, oiled and garnished with garlic and roasted. If the whole pumpkin is used, the inside can make soup, and the outside, including the hard skin which turns crisp and delicious, can be roasted, making two meals.

I hate the very idea of throwing food away, and I suspect we'll be seeing less of this waste as the recession bites and people have to make do on less.

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A perfect example of statistics giving whatever conclusion is sought after is the recent 'findings' of a study regarding alcohol and pregnancy, which conclude that drinking moderately [between one and two drinks a week] during pregnancy were not found to be at any increased risk of behavioural problems compared to those whose mothers abstained from alcohol. They were even found to score more highly in some areas, such as vocabulary tests, when they were assessed at the age of three.

The British Medical Association warns the study findings may "lull" women into feeling drinking alcohol in pregnancy is safe. It says moderate and heavy drinking are definitely not safe, and that the evidence is not conclusive on light drinking.

Far from being scientific in any way, the team of researchers at University College London merely looked at the statistics gathered by others and drew conclusions, based on very little, that light drinking in pregnancy is not bad for children.

They found that mothers who consumed moderate amounts of wine during pregnancy [one or two glasses a day] did not harm their babies. On the face of it this could indicate exactly what this team concluded, but closer analysis indicates this is far from the case; the mothers who drank wine were middle-class, intelligent and educated, whereas those who didn't were lower class, and less well educated, and probably less intelligent, although this was not verified by any testing. The middle-class babies would inevitably score better in tests of cognitive ability due to genetics, nurture and schooling. Those of less well off, less well-educated parents would naturally be expected [on average] to peform less well. Alcohol intake during pregnancy was therefore irrelevent; although it could easily have had a deleterious affect on the potential of the children, this is not proved by studying statistics.

The National Organisation on Foetal Alcohol Syndrome estimates more than 6,000 UK children are born with Foetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder each year. This a name given to a set of symptoms which can include facial abnormalities, such as small heads and widely spaced eyes, poor growth, impaired learning and memory skills and behavioural problems such as hyperactivity. This is science rather than stats.

Halloween again

England never 'celebrated' halloween [from All Hallows' Evening] prior to the seventies, it's not our tradition. It all started with Irish and Scottish immigrants to the US in the nineteenth century celebrating the Celtic festival of Samhain a celebration of the end of the harvest. Halloween in England arrived in the seventies from America with a stream of films and TV programmes aimed at children, and it wasn't long before the possibility of retail profits was exploited as a marketing opportunity - last year the US spent $5 billion on Halloween, the UK is lagging behind this still, but is expected to spend £120 million this year, up from £12 million five years ago. There's nothing traditional or religious about the current nonsense where small children roam the streets knocking on doors and getting up to mischief or worse and making old people fearful. It's also an excuse for teenage yobs to lose even their normally miniscule inhibitions and, with November 5th so close, firework throwing at people, cars and animals increases every year.

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As the recession bites, there will be increasing numbers of people unhappy because they are no longer getting what they want, which is mostly decided by advertisers anyway. They would be so much better off if they stopped desiring so much and fully appreciated the things they have already. Making a list of things you are glad of could be a start, and a surprise to most to realise just what they do have to be glad about.

Apart from financial constraints, there is a pressing need to turn away from the capitalist obsession with wealth, the single biggest cause of environmental degradation, and to stop using up the finite natural resources of Earth. If you make the step to not desiring, you free yourself from the influence of advertising and the slavery of consumerism. Those who have always got by on little, will continue to get by, and won't lose any sleep over falling stock prices or runs on banks.

The Earth's natural resources are being depleted so quickly that "two planets" would be required to sustain current lifestyles within a generation, the conservation group WWF said on Wednesday. 'If our demands on the planet continue to increase at the same rate, by the mid-2030s we would need the equivalent of two planets to maintain our lifestyles,' WWF International Director-General James Leape.

Yobs get their come-uppance.

Ross and Brand have been suspended while the BBC investigates the offence they have caused. So far 30,000 people have contacted the BBC [and rising] to complain about their behaviour, and almost everyone is calling for their dismissal. Most are outraged that they should be paid so much of licence payers money anyway, and this is likely to be the finishing straw.. With so little worth watching, getting rid of the TV could become an option. Brand has resigned rather than face any more criticism, Woss has been suspended for 12 weeks, what a joke, do they really think this will now go away. I'm off to write to the BBC again.

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Gordon Brown reminds me of the fireman who sets fires in order to gain attention and praise fighting them. Having been intimately involved in getting the UK to its present financial state - failing to regulate the banks, selling off our gold reserves for a fraction of what they would be worth now, encouraging mortgage providers to ignore income restraints in the mad Thatcherite drive to sell everyone a house - he now presents himself as the man to get us out of this mess, and has managed to convince quite a few European politicians that he's the 'man of the moment'. His big idea when faced with out of control debt is to borrow more, and while ordinary people are told to tighten belts, and are cutting back on their spending, Brown sinks the country deeper into debt which future generations will have to pay back, while coping with the effects of climate change which Brown has done nothing to avoid; he talks about it a lot but still agrees to airport expansion even while airline customers are dropping and clearly doesn't understand that 'growth' of the economy is the enemy of environmental responsibility. He thinks that by repeating at every opportunity 'the credit crunch which started in the US', he will convice everyone it is the Americans' fault, despite Northern Rock being nothing to do with America. Nice try moron, but it won't wash.

The obscenely overpaid and talentless ego, Jonathon Ross, is about to have a Simon Dee moment [I hope]. Together with the equally untalented Russell Brand [whose brand of humour seems to be to have awful hair and shout a lot] he's broken at least one law - making obscene and insulting phone calls - and is now reaping the results of an out of control ego and a lamentable lack of judgement or even just decency and fairness. Picking on a pensioner, albeit a retired actor, Andrew Sachs, who left Germany at the age of 7 with his family as the Nazis took over, and played Manuel in Fawlty Towers, to leave a series of obscene messages about his grandaughter on his answerphone, whilst on air on BBC Radio 2. So not only tasteless bullying of a much loved old man, but incredibly stupid to do it with witnesses listening in across the country. The overwhelming opinion appears to be that they should both be sacked. So the yob with the speech impediment [Woss can't even say his own name properly] is about to get the push from his overpaid job [£17 million a year]. Good riddance, one less reason for me to switch channels. 10,000 complaints to the BBC so far, and rising. A few say they found it funny, and the only excuse anyone has come up with is that Brand 'pushes the boundaries.' No, Monty Python pushed boundaries, Little Britain pushed boundaries, League of Gentlement pushed boundaries as do The Mighty Boosh. Brand merely pushes his brand of men's toilet humour..

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Here's a treat for all who love music; Davy Spillane playing Caoineadth Cu Chulainn on the Uillean pipes [pronounced ullawn] the most emotional instrument ever invented, and played by the master.

 

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Tory shadow chancellor George Osborne started it off by speaking about Peter Mandelson 'dripping slime' about Gordon Brown, and now a vicious spat has broken out which could involve yet more investigations of the newly appointed 'business secretary'. Old Etonian George is looking rattled at the viciousness of fellow old school 'chums' dissing him in public, claiming that he was on the yacht looking for funding for the tories from a foreigner, which is strictly illegal. A Rothschild is inevitably at the centre of it, but it would appear to have been masterminded by Mandelson to teach hapless George a lesson - never upset a powerful queen with super-rich friends.

Some politicians find themselves attracted to obscenely rich crooks like flies round a turd. They just can't stay away. Mandelslime is one of them; already forced out of government twice for dodgy dealings under Blair [don't go there!] now, with a third chance at government given him by Brown - who supposedly hates his guts yet brought him into government again, I wonder what dirt he has on him - is off schmoozing on a multi-storey yacht with a Russian oligarch Oleg Deripaska, purely coincidentally an aluminium billionaire and banned from entering the US, who first met Mandelbrot when he was EU Trade Commissioner. The fact that EU legislation was passed a year after they met which favoured the Russian's aluminium business, is, of course, utterly coincidental, and Peter had absolutely nothing to do with it, despite lying initially about how long he had been 'friends' with Oleg, who strikes me as being in the athletic, Putinesque-gay-bodybuilder mould. There's no mention of any women onboard the monstrous yacht while these important networking meetings were taken place.

Sensing a feeding frenzy, the media pack gathers menacingly, they may yet get to devour George, but may not be satisfied with that small morsal, requiring more succulent meat. We could have a third Mandelson 'forced to resign' moment coming up. After which, this grandson of a former highly respected socialist is unlikely to get a fourth crack at power and will have to retire to enjoy his accumulated wealth. Already the word Yachtgate has appeared. There's always a gate waiting in the wings these days.

Meanwhile, the search continues for hundreds of lemmings left stranded when heavy rain and flooding hit the Lake District where they were taking part in the Original Mountain Marathon, despite weather forecasts of dangerously wet weather bringing floods. Hypothermia is one of the things many are suffering from as they've been out on the mountains all night. Some were rescued and housed in local schools with dozens of casualties taken to hospitals in the area, but over a thousand were still out on the mountains overnight, with police and rescue teams renewing the search this morning. Survival of the fittest kicks in again, and I'm just amazed at the numbers of those who test themselves at times like these. Perhaps modern life is just too dull and safe for them. Or perhaps they just don't take notice of weather forecasts.

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With banks being nationised all over the world including the US, sales of Marx's Das Kapital, the book that in the 19th century dissected capitalism's method of exploiting people for the benefit of the rich, have trebled recently in Europe as a new generation becomes interested in a more equitable system of wealth sharing, and socialism, once written off as defeated with the fall of the Soviet Union, seems set for a resurgence, while never having become unfashionable in Latin America. With record numbers of people losing their homes to the repo man, often with the homes remaining empty and deteriorating fast, there's a revived attitude towards a fairer distribution of wealth. Obscene wealth and abject poverty existing together tends to do that.

Cuba continues as the example of what socialism can achieve despite hardship caused by a bullying neighbour's embargo; it's health service is the best in the world and often takes in patents from wealthy, developed nations as well as sick children from poor nations across the world who are all treated for free, its literacy rate is one of the highest in the world, easily outstripping the US where illiteracy appears almost the norm, especially in the more backward Republican states of the south. And the rabid, right wing criminals of Miami's Little Cuba, plan a mass celebration when Castro dies, thinking they will all be welcome back after that event, little realising that socialism only works if the people are committed to it, and Cubans seem to be pretty committed.

With the new oil find in Cuba's territorial waters looking like it could equal the US's total oil reserves and knowing the Iraq invasion was all about oil, there's always the possibility that the oil-junky might invade. This would doubtless be led by the Miami rabble of former mafia pimps, gangsters and porn merchants, thinking they will be welcomed back with open arms. The only arms they are likely to see will be the small arms of the Cuban defence force just before their brains splash in the sky. Cuba won't have much time to enjoy the fruits of its oil boom however, it is being increasingly battered by storms which are set to increase in severity and frequency in the coming years.

What's certain is that if Cuba was still ruled by the rich and criminal, the poor would be expendable during storms, they couldn't afford the entrance fee to the shelters at present supplied free by the socialist government. It amuses me when Americans of a particular political bent use the word socialist as an insult, quite the worst word they can think of and one that terrifies them, and apparently socialism will be the end result of bankrolling the banks. These are not rich people, but they dream the American dream, so have high hopes they will be one day. Their rabid anti-leftwing brain washing has given them all nightmares of socialism threatening the land of the free to be idiots.

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What extraordinary times we live in. Major banks in trouble and in need of rescue with taxpayers' money, so they are stable enough for taxpayers to continue to withdraw cash from them. So, here's a lot of money, can I have some money?

So now, a government which abandoned Clause 4 ["To secure for the workers by hand or by brain the full fruits of their industry and the most equitable distribution thereof that may be possible upon the basis of the common ownership of the means of production, distribution and exchange, and the best obtainable system of popular administration and control of each industry or service."] some years ago, is nationalising the banks. I'm all for it, but would have preferred a straight nationalisation without compensation. Next, the railways, which have seen nothing but chaos and rising prices ever since they were sold off by Thatcher - the real culprit for the present financial crisis who sowed the seeds of out and out greed with no concern for society, which, according to her doesn't exist. If they were nationalised and fares returned to actual costs without huge profits for the likes of Branson we would see a gradual return to the railways from our clogged roads, a reduction of traffic jams and pollution and a drop in our carbon emissions, which is what we're supposed to be achieving.

The money obsessives are flapping around wetting their trousers and generally panicking, which is the whole of the problem. If they could stop worrying about the wealth they are losing every minute, the situation would calm down and return to some semblence of normality. But there would still be a recession, which isn't a result of the banking crisis but the cause of it, and of the fear and loathing on the money trail.

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Regular readers may notice a 350 Challenge badge on the right, this is because I joined the 350 Challenge and am now having 350 pounds of carbon offset in my name. That's like flicking off 100 lightbulbs for a day. Or going two full weeks without your car. As I only use my car at most once a week and then normally only a few miles, this is probably more like me going without it for six months. The offsetting is done by funding renewables projects in the US, but the campaign is open to bloggers everywhere, so any of my friends from Blogcatalog reading this should pop over to the site by clicking the link above or the badge and sign up. It takes a minute and a small snippet of code to paste and you're done [apart from stitching the badge onto the page, took me ages to find a needle and thread]. Never been easier to 'do your bit for the environment', but don't stop there, there's plenty more you can do. Is there an electricity utility in your country which sources all its power from renewables? In the UK the only one that does is Good Energy, my supplier, and I recommend them highly, they are lovely people and what they say, they do. You can sign up online and switch from your present supplier easily, Good Energy do it all for you and all you do is take a meter reading when they tell you to. Other countries most likely have their own 100% renewables energy utility so do some research and switch.

Three cheers for Leona Lewis, the singer who won ITV's X Factor and has gone on to make massive record sales, has turned down a £1 million offer to perform at Harrods because it sells fur coats, of which she doesn't approve. 'I'm totally against animal cruelty.' she said, 'I don't have clothes, shoes or bags made from any animal products.' Harrods, which last month received a protest from 400 anti-fur campaigners, declined to comment, of course they did, still intent on selling animal skins to ugly, rich bitches with no shame. Good on you Leona for making a stand. Much of the fur the UK fur trade deals in comes from China where they keep dogs and cats in small cages for the whole of their lives and then slaughter them in appalling conditions where many of the animals are skinned still alive. Notice Harrods labels some fur rabbit, but the rest seems to lack a label and is just called fur, wonder why?

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As you grow older, the impulse to whistle increases. This is an observable fact; next time you hear someone whistling, check their age. It creeps up on you, you find yourself whistling tunes you haven't heard for decades but know every nuanced note of despite not being able to render them perfectly lips persed. Your liking for jazz, dormant for the forty decades of rock n roll, surfaces, and you find your whistling is extemporising round a Miles Davis solo heard only in your memory.

Another thing that happens to men as they age, and no one warns young men this will happen to them [well up to now anyway], is their nasal, ear and eyebrow hair increases its growth rate, even if the hair on the top of the head has gone awol or is in process. Nasal hairs can be pretty alarming; suddenly there's a tickling of the upper lip, and when you investigate, you find the bloody thing goes right up a nostril like the tentacle of an alian creature that crept in there in the night thinking it a nice place to raise some kids. Best way to keep the folliage in check is to stick a pair of scissors up each nostril and snip away for a while, being careful to snort the cut hairs out before you breath them in.

But the most disconcerting are the eyebrows, which speed up to the rate of stop-motion films of plant growth where the writhing plant progresses from tiny shoot to monstrous vine in minutes. With the eyebrows this can happen overnight and you wake up blinded by an insistant pointed hair spearing an eyeball. You can't focus on it, but it's hazily there in your vision, and now and then stabs you painfully, so eventually you have to make a two fingered grab for it, sometimes getting several in a bunch, separate the offending beanstalk hair and grasp firmly between fingernails and yank, lose it and go hunting again to finally get it out. They can turn out to be several inches long! Do barbers do this as a service to their older clients? Having not visited a barbers since I was last made to go by my father age 14, I haven't a clue about what hair they trim for other than kids.

Fantasies that science could make it so people could live for 800 years only appeal to the young and people who live in Florida. For the rest, the prospect becomes less attractive as each year passes and the world becomes progressively more insane and dangerous, and getting out of bed becomes a conscious effort rather than a joyful bound. And anyway, think of all the murderers locked up for life, would 999 years be enough?

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In a move that sent more than tongues wagging around Westminster, Peter 'Mandy' Mandelson has been moved back into the cabinet by his previously sworn enemy Gordon Brown. Many think Brown has done it to appear more exciting and unpredictable - he may at last have realised that he's marginally less popular than genital warts - as no one could have predicted he would let back in an unreconstructed born again Blairite who's been thrown out of government twice already for behaviour many perceived as dubious if not downright dishonest [as eastenders would say, bent as a nine bob note], but I couldn't possibly say. I think Brown's animosity towards Mandelbent was the result of jealousy over Tony, who Mandelbrot was, shall we say, rather close to, and now since Brown has decided Blair is a bastard for cocking everything up and leaving him to suffer the consequences while he swans off to Yale teaching religion complete with shades-wearing, bullet-stopping security posse presumably. Perhaps they both feel abandoned and rejected by the charismatic teeth and are sharing something personal; the two most reviled politicians in the UK. Or perhaps Gordon isn't such a moron, and has decided that when around the odious Mandelbrat, he will appear so much more likeable and dependable that his popularity will soar, on the sitting next to someone uglier principal. About as likely as the American public deciding Palin has a brain after all and could be put in charge of the USA and its arsenal without anyone losing any sleep. For those thinking she's only standing for VP, ask yourself, does McCain look like he could live for years and years?

Here's a video from 1956 for all you old blues fans, if there are any others reading this. Before Dylan, before Eric Clapton or Brian Jones, even before the Grateful Dead, there was Big Bill Broonzy. This is a gig called Low Light & Blue Smoke, filmed in a 'dive' in Belgium, and you can't get any seedier than that. From DailyMotion, a site I've just discovered and will definitely be visiting again. Enjoy a master of the guitar.

 

My most hated word, rather than most hated phrase, is 'absolutely'. It started off as a media outbreak, and spread as fast as a dose of flu through the chatterati. No interview could be heard that wasn't peppered with absolutelies, it has become a verbal tic with most of them now, and they have forgotten the simple English word 'yes'. Now any affirmative reply to anything is absolutely, which, rather than confirming very strong support and agreement as it once did, is now just an irritation that cuts through all meaning and thus makes the conversation an exercise in pointless verbal preening. It also makes it difficult to ever use the word even when it would be perfectly suited and absolutely the right word, so another word to be dropped from the lexicon.